The Worst Game EVER!? [SS Opinions #8]

Now, over the years, I have played a good number of games. Games ranging from all different genres, such as platformers, FPSs, RPGs, puzzle games, racing games, fighting games, the list goes on. But through all the games I’ve traversed, I’d have to say the worst game I’ve ever played TO COMPLETION would have to be Sonic the Hedgehog 2006.

Now, if we were counting games so broken I can’t even finish, then the worst game I’ve ever played would most definitely be Iron Man for the Wii. That game is such utter garbage, the first level that isn’t a tutorial is so maddeningly devoid of quality and control that the level is near impossible. And to top it off, the boss of that level was defunct, and I could not land a single hit on the thing. So I decided it’s so bad it must be impossible, and gave up. So there’s the worst game I can’t finish.

Seriously, this game is just awful.

However, I was able to finish Sonic ’06 (but I do question why in the world I thought that would be a worthwhile idea), and let me say, that game is pretty terrible. The amount of glitches, bad programming errors, awkward controls, and cheap deaths in the game is ridiculous! I mean, in the first mission alone, before you even enter the first level, the game has you running through rings. No, I don’t mean “rings” as in the currency of the game, I mean big, red rings, a la Superman 64. That’s a great note to start your game out on.

The similarity is uncanny.

The similarity is uncanny.

There are parts of the game that are actually enjoyable, though. Minus the mach-speed sections (which are ridiculous and stupid and I don’t wanna talk about the terrible things they’ve put me through), Sonic’s stages are decent. If he actually could go faster than the snail’s pace he travels at in this game, they would be pretty fun to play. And Shadow’s stages aren’t bad because of his combo attacks, which clean out enemies really quickly and efficiently, making his story not all that bad. No, the character that destroys this game is Silver the Hedgehog.

Silver, you dirty troll.

Silver, you dirty troll.

To begin with, Silver’s stages are slow and boring. Seriously, some of them can take almost 20+ minutes to complete! And it reaches its worst in the stage Dusty Desert, home of the infamous ball puzzle. What’s worse than broken telekinesis powers on a hedgehog that practically moves in reverse? Using those powers to have to push a ball down a corridor with holes, traps, blockades, and enemies. Now, this wouldn’t be so bad, except…you only get 9 PUSHES to get this thing from one end to the other. I admit, I’ve never legitimately completed this ball puzzle. I ended up using the box glitch to push myself through the closed doorway to the Goal Ring (which makes this one of the rare instances where you thank Sega for their bad programming of this game). My best time on that level? 24 MINUTES. Truly, it is hell in the form of a video game.

Please, MAKE IT STOP!!!

Please, MAKE IT STOP!!!

So after all that, it doesn’t seem like this game could get any worse, right? WRONG. This demon-spawn of a game created the most infamous cutscene in a Sonic title. This:

Just, why Sega? WHY?

Anyways, I think it’s evident why this is, in my opinion, the worst video game I can complete. Despite how much I love the Blue Blur, it can’t be overlooked that this rushed product is the most inferior title featuring Sonic. After enduring this trip through hell, I can definitely say that Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 is the worst game I’ve played.

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